2010 in Review

I figure if I get this done before halfway through the month it's still a little timely.

And really, we've almost started needing this in a way. Because as much as we can talk about "Oh man, what a year it's been!" - one day we won't remember exactly why, or what happened, or why it was a year unlike any other. Every year is that way.

2007. 2008. 2009. 2010 was no different.

January: I welcome 2010 on the ski trip with Natalie in the mountains of North Carolina with Ryan's family while Cliff lives it up with Brad at the Bowl Game in Atlanta. I complete second round of Spring Orientation at Belmont and then resign the next day (talk about that for timing) - the date was determined just a week before, however. Cliff goes to Haiti to help with Earthquake disaster relief and the migration of oprhans from Port au Prince.

February: Ends up being a pretty low key month for us, minus a car accident involving me, a deer, and my poor Honda Civic which ultimately gets totaled. I finish up my days at Belmont and end out the month saying farewell to a long chapter of my life.

March: I officially begin the month as a full-time photographer, take a trip to Vegas for WPPI - a massive photography conference, and Cliff begins work on the first major overhaul of house projects for the year. In March alone we have the mold remediation of our crawlspace, ductwork replaced, heating and air unit moved, and a corner of our foundation lifted. We find out also that we've both got spots on the Germany mission team for the summer. I start playing soccer again!

April: Cliff starts up with the Franklin Citizen's Fire Academy! We finally get the car we've been waiting for - a 2003 Hyundai Santa Fe - Silver, no less. It takes it's inaugural voyage on the great trip out east to visit my family in MD and VA for Easter and my brother's spring break. Soon after our return, I get into my second accident of the year - this time at the fault of a woman not paying attention when switching lanes. I'm on my second rental of the year and we cross fingers that nothing else happens automobile-wise for the rest of the year. Upon our return from the East Coast, s well, we have the new drainage system installed and the yard graded and I try my hand at mulching.

May: The flood comes and goes and leaves a mark on our area unlike any other... we spend the next week removing six inches of water from our crawlspace while some of our neighbors end up gutting whole portions of their house because of high waters. We spend a weekend in North Carolina witnessing and celebrating Ashlynn's first communion.  I turn the ripe old age of 26 and start writing some for a women's online magazne. At the end of the month, we take our first trip together to Colorado to play in Denver and the mountains for a couple of wonderful days! Cliff graduates from the Franklin Citizen's Fire Academy - having loved every bit of it.

June: Started off teaching a photography course at VBS with my dear friend Evin. Cliff turns 27 at the lake with friends and family. At the end of the month we host the first-annual Brew-Haha, which goes swimmingly!

July: The Benton kids come for a visit full of pancakes, trips about town, skateboarding, and old school Nintendo before we head out to the Lake for the Fourth of July weekend. Cliff gets voted on to the Williamson County Rescue Squad. I have photo published on the cover of the Nashville Scene.Then there's final preparations and the actual departure for Germany. Just before that we celebrated our THIRD wedding anniversary with a night "away" at the Marriott!

August: Back from our incredible trip to Germany (Potsdam, Berlin, and Munich included), we get a visit from Marcus and then eventually Mom and Cearra, too. The five of us head off to the lake, which made for two lake weekends in a row as we made another last minute trip there to round out the season. Cliff starts his extensive training for the Rescue Squad, which kind of becomes his life for the fall.

September: At the beginning of the month, we leave for and hike the Grand Canyon - an experience unlike any we've ever had before. And so begins our fall of weekends taken up by UT football games - considering our season ticket holder status for the year. Training with WCRS continues!

October: Training with WCRS continues even more - with burn weekends and all sorts of crazy things Cliff can do now (like extrication!). We take our gangly rose bushes out and replace them with new ones - getting a taste of our first real hand at landscaping. We take a trip mid-month to New York for my second cousin's wedding on Long Island, my first of the seconds! Cliff tries his hand at crab picking. We continue with more UT games.

November: The month of our sixth meetiversary and dativersary! MORE and last UT games of the season - fortunately winning ones. We take Mark and Stephanie on their first visit to the Lake for  a relaxing fall weekend. I head out for my second conference of the year - and second PartnerCon ever - again in New Orleans. We have a wonderful, relaxing weekend at the Buckhorn Inn on the weekend of six years since our first date. We head to Cleveland for Thanksgiving and then return to go full steam ahead with the tiling project begins. We also begin the great tree removal and supporting, with a few of our new replacement trees being planted.

December: The tiling project ends, just in time for my trip to visit Sarah in Texas. We enjoy ourselves immensely at the Lampo Christmas party and a night at the Embassy Suites (as well as our first REAL snow of the season). We put lights on the house for the first time and beef up our outside decorations for the holidays. We also begin preparations for the hardwoods project. Our Christmas is spent with family in VA and MD, before my late December departure for Italy! Cliff goes to the Bowl Game here in Nashville - welcoming the New Year in Cleveland (and me in Sorrento!!).

WHEW.

2009 in Review

In keeping with reviews from both 2008 and 2007, the tradition is staying alive.

This afternoon Cliff and I are both headed east, but this New Year's, not together. Hold your horses, it's a good thing, my friends. Cliff and his brother-in-law Brad scored tickets to the Chick-fil-A Bowl to see Tennessee take on Virginia Tech (my two "homestate" teams!) and I am glad for them to get some guy-time in together. Brad has been one of the most influential persons in Cliff's life and anytime they get together is always a grand ol' time.

And as for me? Don't worry. I'm hopping in a car with one of my best friends and heading out to the mountains of North Carolina for a couple of days of - big sigh - skiing. Oh, it's been too many years and Natalie was thoughtful enough to both oblige and include me in some pre-I'm-starting-Grad-School-at-Vanderbilt-on-Monday fun. Just think... snow, mountains, bare trees dancing in cold winds, ice in my hair, my breath visible in front of me, and skis on my feet. My heart just bursts at the thought.

So we'll bring in the New Year separately, and yet, still together. We're looking forward to our mock celebration on Saturday with each other!

What a year this has been... and what a way to celebrate.

So what does our year in review look like? Let me give this a try:

January: We ring in the under starlight by the wild and scenic Obed River. Just a cold night and firelight to mark a new year, and then a couple of days of spontaneous fun in Chattanooga. I facilitated my first Spring Orientation at Belmont - and survived. We sold the Jimmy (oh, how we miss you) and bought the Jeep (oh, how we love you!).

February: I began as an associate-in-training with Gray Photography and ended up taking a bunch of pictures of people in love. Appropriate for the month, I guess. Cliff cooked for me for Valentine's Dinner - Penne a la Betsy, a PW favorite. Cliff went to the UT Recruiting Celebration and saw the Kiff-man live and in person. We started meeting with our men's and women's groups!

March: We take a wonderful trip to Virginia Beach to visit with Mom and Marcus for a couple of days. Make trips to Kitty Hawk and Nags Head, played a couple of games of bowling, and just enjoyed each other's company. Cliff keeps his beard (GASP!) Volunteer for an alternative spring break service trip with a team from Belmont to work with Habitat for Humanity of Cleveland. Stay at the cabin and relished the experience of working all days with your hands to benefit people's lives only to come back to good food and fellowship every night. Became master-siders and tile removers. Bought my 5D! Shot more weddings.

April: Cliff celebrates his second anniversary at Lampo! ELP Department picnic at Jack's new property in the country. I appear in a newspaper ad for Belmont. We buy lots and lots of pretty-baby lenses for my pretty-baby 5D. Town Hall For Hope goes nationwide and is a great night of learning and encouragement. I become officially an Associate with Gray Photography! I visit Birmingham, Atlanta, Knoxville, Cincinatti, and St. Louis for Enrollment Services' BU2U trips for admitted students. We go on our incredible, wonderful, never want to come back trip to San Diego to visit Aaron for Easter. Cliff still has his beard...

May: I celebrate my 25th birthday with Cliff, Natalie, and Ryan over s'mores and later, scrambled eggs, during our first visit to Wildwood (Natalie's dad's place). Ah, and I shoot my first Associate wedding that day as well. Buncha, buncha Gray Photography workshops. Lampo hosts an awesome day for the company and family at Joe C. Davis YMCA camp. We finish planning and booking our July trip to Washington!

June: I could just say Orientation happened and that'd be enough evidence for the reason why not much else happened during June. Except, that wasn't it. We went to visit with my Dad and family in Maryland! Cliff turned a glorious year older - 26. We managed to make it to the lake. And I spent three weeks with an amazing team of students orienting nearly 1000 new students and 1500 of their parents and family members. I subsist mostly on Passion Pit and give up caffeine for most of the month. Cliff goes on a guy's weekend with his men's group to Mammoth Cave where they take a long canoe trip and play in some caves. I have my first slumber party with the women's group since college.

July: Mom, Marcus, and Cee come into town and we ring in a new year of Independence at the lake with everyone. I decompress from June and we gear up for our trip to Washington. We go to Washington and spend a blissful week plus a couple of days taking in lush greens, soft grays, orca whales, good coffee, striking mountains, busy cityscapes, expansive oceans, calming rivers and lake, and so much more. My heart wakes up again. We celebrate two years of marriage!

August: Not much is recorded from this month, as it was a total blur. We spent our last weekend at the Lake to close off our cabin season with Natalie and Ry and had a blast as usual. I stayed pretty busy gearing up for my student leaders to return and all of the new students and their families as well. Had a successful move-in and Welcome Week. We start talking about the prospect of changing our house plans and actually looking at possibly looking at some before the end of the year.

September: Cliff goes to two UT games - one with the guys and one with friends, which I was absent for due to the first visit of a nasty cold. We decided to stay-cate for Labor Day Weekend and that ends up being a fateful choice. In a series of days we meet with our realtor, look at umpteen homes, and make an offer on a beautiful ranch house in Franklin that Monday just before bbq-ing with friends. The couple, after a couple of back and forths, takes the offer. I launch my house. We do all of the stuff you're supposed to do before closing... and then close on the last day of the month! I manage to select the new Orientation Council and host Parent & Family Weekend somewhere in the madness of it all.

October: Another blur, but a beautiful one as we learn the cost not just financially but emotionally of taking a home into your hearts. In a matter of a couple of weeks, every room is re-painted, crown molding is put up, floors are cleaned and buffed, everything is packed up from the apartment and moved over, and we call the place home. We take a quick trip up to Rhode Island and Massachusetts to visit with family and go to my cousin's wedding. We take another quick trip up to Oregon for Cliff to work with the Live Events team for Dave's Portland Event and for us to get our quarterly marriage getaway in. A piece of my heart stays at a bed & breakfast lodge in Hood River and we herd sheep and hike around Mount Hood.

November: Our local friends come over for a housewarming party in our new digs on our fifth meetiversary! I head off to New Orleans for a couple of days for a Photography conference. We celebrate our fifth dativersary. We go to UT-Vandy game with Brad & Wendy. I take my students on a retreat after which, Cliff and I go camping with some friends at Savage Gulf and hike around Stone Door. A short Thanksgiving visit to Cleveland caps off the month.

December: We visit with our family in North Carolina for a weekend and see Ashlynn dance in the Apex parade. Lampo has another INCREDIBLE Christmas party and week of festivities leading up to it! The Benton kids come to visit for a couple of days and we celebrate our third Christmas in Cleveland!

So while were off celebrating today and tomorrow, we wanted to take a chance to say, we hope you have a Happy New Year's!

No Resolutions

Just hopes.

Things that, if I could attain them in 2009, I believe would put me in a better place for 2010. Things that I think would make me a better person - more fulfilled and more like the version of me that I am meant to be - than I was in 2008.

So, this is what I'm thinking about this Sunday morning, January the 4th.

I want to be a better disciple. I have, in the last eleven years of my faith journey, had some really unique periods of growth. Times where I clung to my faith in the Lord because I knew it was truly the only thing that gave any and all of this meaning. I have found it more difficult in the good times, to grow the same way. And I'm kind of tired of that. There's so much good and bad happening in the world today - to our families and to people we love - that no matter how rosy our present situation is in life, we need God no less. And I don't always live like that. I don't study the scriptures or pray with the same tenacity when things are right as when things are wrong. And I think to follow Christ and to truly be a disciple, it means to have the spirit of learning and growing in Him everyday. And I want that for my life because it pours into every other part of my being because it is the source of my being.

I want to be a better wife. Surprise, right? No really, though, it's a novel concept and I'd very much like to serve Cliff in ways that honor both him and the Lord. Too often I am riddled with emotions that get the best of me. Plagued by selfishness that unfairly takes the best from Cliff. And sometimes too consumed with getting things right that I fail to see the value in my mistakes. I want to learn to compromise and to communicate much more effectively this year. And I guess, just to love more truly and deeply.

I want my family and friends to know they matter. I think I've really dropped the ball on this. Probably because my whole life, I've let moving away, transitions, and big things cloud my ability to be the one who calls... the one who makes plans... the one who does nice little things for no reason at all. I have become selfish in this area - particularly in the last year or so. Partially as a means of self-defense (who likes getting rejected, time and time again?) and partly because of frustration. Frustration that maybe I will always be that person who takes the first step, though I'd give to not have to every once in awhile. But how's that worth anything if the people I love most in this world don't know exactly what they're worth to me.

I want to flourish in creativity. Right now, I've got a lot of focus going on this photography stuff. And rightfully, so. It goes without saying, I want to continue with that - moving from practice to true service. Overall, though, I'd really like to develop a deepened knowledge and skill base in my photography while not losing my sense of passion and direction with writing and other creative means. I know that if I can not just hold onto but grow in these, that will set the stage for years to come. And I've got to keep reading and journaling, too, because it's incredible how much more freshly I can think when those two acts are habitual.

I want to lead well. Because the truth is, I'm finally leading. Now don't get me wrong - I know titles and jobs aren't what define an individuals role as a leader. But right now I've got responsibilities and relationships in my life sphere that I didn't have just a few months ago, nor was I expecting. I want to be incredibly graceful, mindful, and intentional about serving in my job in a way that belies my still growing confidence in myself and matches the confidence I should have in the God who put me here. I'd also like to step out beyond this role into some sort of community group or bible study for women, particularly those whom I know are seeking the same thing right now and just don't know where to find it. Let me know if that's you.

And I want to stop the struggle, once and for all. I've debated putting this one in plain language because in this medium, I've only ever been so candid about a certain aspect of my story. But I want to, because, well as some others have said about this kind of airing of dirty laundry, it holds within it a glint of accountability. So here goes... I have fought, tooth and nail, since a very early age to learn to love my body. It never occurred to me that the pursuit of some sort of ideal that was set by anyone else was wrong and a misguided way to try to live life. I know everyone struggles with this in different ways. But I have let myself become so victimized by what was done and said to me about my weight throughout the years, that I have now become my own enemy as an adult. No one else but me, now, is asking too much and not giving enough. No one else but me is letting the lies continue to play over and over again like a record that someone forgot to take off the phonograph. And I want to stop that, once and for all. I can proudly say that 2008 was the year I ended my struggle with an eating disorder I have had for nearly half my life. And I'd like for 2009 to be the year I get into the best shape of my life - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - and know that I am treating myself and my body with the care and respect it deserves. This might or might not have a number attached to it, but I'm a little less worried about that right now.


So, here's to hoping the best for 2009.