Cat's Out of the Bag

Do you know how hard it is TO KEEP A SECRET?! (It might be why I've posted ONE, yes, count that, ONE, whole post since we found that and even it had it's minor clues woven in.)

I mean, we knew before. We've had our share of secrets to keep over the course of a lifetime. But March 18 to yesterday, April 18, felt quite like the LONGEST MONTH OF OUR LIVES. A joyous, challenging, awe-inspiring, and totally confusing month which added that time seems to go much slower these days made for a telling journey already.

A journey that started with two pink lines (after a week spent CONVINCED, both emotionally and physically that it hadn't happened this time) and will never end. And dear family and friends have been so kind as to remind us of the fact.

So far, it's been nothing like I thought it'd be. From the lessons learned in two rounds of minor disappointment (one of those turning out to be totally unnecessary) to the helplessness with which I feel in my ability to control any bit of this except for taking care of myself... it is a day-by-day journey towards trusting. And I'll be honest, I'm not sure how it is that people can do this without anchoring themselves in the truths, promises, and lessons to be found in scripture. And this is just the beginning... a beginning spent providing safety and nourishment for a life that will one day make itself known to the whole world. Then it will be everything else.

But I'm convinced already that God is in every bit of this adventure, and ask daily for His continued guidance. Too, I couldn't be more blessed that the father of our little turkey is the most loving, most patient, most perfectly made-for-me man in existence. He has been so present and attentive from day one (which was really our day one, but in the grand scheme of things day twenty-nine), and I can't help but know he's going to be an amazing father.

I'll try not to make the blog a preggo-only themed diatribe, but I can't say it won't be a topic of conversation. Because frankly, I've already got the mom-brain. Good thing, though, is now that the cat's out of the bag, I feel like I can actually say what's on my mind without cloaking it in words that SOME PEOPLE were clever enough to deduce even when I didn't mean for them to!

So, here's to a new adventure!

He Did It!

Well what do you know, this guy went and got himself voted on the Williamson County Fire & Rescue Squad. Though he just finished Franklin Citizens' Fire Academy not too long ago, this process started well before then and we're excited to see it into the next phase. If you haven't read some about part of that journey, you are more than welcome to here.

I remember just last summer, us talking about an unmet need in his life to serve in a similar capacity. Since leaving West Point and serving small stints doing relief work in Indonesia, Sudan, and Haiti, I've watched Cliff struggle to pinpoint a place in his life in which he can regularly do that thing he doesn't know how to explain he needs to do. Which is to sacrifice a little bit of himself for the good of many others in ways that aren't necessarily the average. Not for show, not for a notch on his belt, but just because.

I love that about him, and yet find myself sometimes in a little bit of fear of it. But not a strong enough kind that causes me to want to tether him down to a safe and boxed life. We often muse over the oddity surrounding his departure from West Point and the multiple times Cliff has looked into returning to the military, be it considering ROTC in his latter days at Belmont or meeting with recruiters from the National Guard (just last year, mind you). In many ways, we believe that departure is the step in his path that brought us together, as much as it didn't make sense at the time.

And so as much as he has continued to long for some part of that kind of life, I have tried to pray and talk and believe myself into supporting at least his small steps into journeying towards that. This is his way, for now; one that I'm sure will prove to be unique, challenging, and a great deal rewarding. I am so, so proud.

Three Years Ago Today...

We climbed up a mountain and got engaged under a full moon.

The next day, we came back down and took this picture with an underwater camera leftover from our Park City ski trip...



And it was just the beginning of our grandest adventure yet.