Here We Are, As Olden Days

I am not sure that I have ever been this excited about Christmas. I feel like a kid, again. You may have sensed an uncommon level of giddiness, and rightfully so.

I have always been fond of the holiday, don't get me wrong. There are memories of begging to pull out the decorations at mom's, of finding bits and pieces of chewed-up ribbon in places only cats could crawl, of finding cards and gifts in my grandparents' tree, of being buried in piles of torn wrapping paper surrounded by all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents on Christmas eve, and of trying to find ways to fill dad's huge trees with ornaments. It is always a time of anticipation and expectation, and even more so this year, it seems.

Despite the bombarding holiday marketing schemes of modern America, I have been experiencing a slow build towards the big day. It hit me last week, driving into work. I was listening to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Frank Sinatra and it occurred to me just how much I am blessed with and how it's so poignantly easy to remember around this time of year. Faith, family, friends, and food (I was trying to keep with the alliteration). But most importantly, love.

Each time we drive down the street, another home has put out another beautiful, tacky, or altogether festive light display. With every light, there seems to be both a memory and a hope that comes to mind. Cliff and I are a new family, with so much potential to dream and to build traditions and to grow together. I think that might be why this Christmas seems so different.

This is truly our first Christmas. Though this will be our fourth Christmas together (which we keep track of by the "Us Ball" ornaments we both make for each other every year), it will be our first Christmas together. And I'm glad that it's now that we're married and have a "home" together, because everything seems that much more meaningful, treasured, and foundational. Sure, we've decorated ornaments, drank hot cocoa, and watched Christmas movies before, but not like this.

Everything just seems different - so purposeful. Lyrics I've never noticed in classic Christmas songs jump out at me when I'm driving down the road. Look over, and you're bound to find me wiping away tears or find a bobbing head fit with a huge grin. There is such goodness to be found in this time, especially as we learn what it means to give and to receive, to have and to have not. I am aware of change, even in this season in which it is not so brilliantly displayed as the last. There is loss, sadness, and longing even still for so many people, and I hope to remain sensitive to that as the actual day of Christmas draws near.

Why is it that this feeling is so significant now, and not all year? Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was? I just hope that we are not the only ones experiencing a swelling of the heart right now as we count down to Christmas Day. God has been so gracious, if even just to send His Son and to give us breath each day - we can be thankful for that much if not more.

I hope you are finding joy in this season, as well - it really is magnificent.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.