Just One of Those Posts

I am in class. It is the story of my life. For nineteen years, I have been in class. Sure, the length of time has varied but the nature is still the same - it's education and in many ways, I am a slave to it. Making the choice to go to graduate school has been both a blessing and a curse, delaying the real world to the degree that my "job" from day to day as a grad student is really flexible and not at all like a real career and also to the point that I am fighting the terror of next spring. I have to get a job - for the first time in my whole life, I will do something besides work at a day camp, nanny, housekeep at a bed and breakfast, and make people's smoothies.

I am excited and altogether nervous... but free. Cliff told me the other day that the best thing I can do next spring is get a job that I feel good about, no matter what the price tag attached looks like. I mean hey, we're debt free now (WOOHOO!) and living off of one income, so why not, right? Who knows what jobs will be open in the spring and if there will even be anything I want to do at a college or university - and that's okay. It might not make sense, but what ever has over the last couple of years? I went to a high school academy to pursue my passion for math, science - specifically marine biology, ended up at college to study music business and be in the city at the heart of Christian music, and am now getting a master's of education in higher education administration because I want to make a difference in the lives of college students. Now you tell me the next logical step... Right... I know.

Cliff and I are a funny pair when you follow the paths of the desires and passions we've held throughout our lives, many of which still remain. The more I talk to some other people and couples, too, I find it's a common thing. The problem is, we want to do everything and yet not too much - not enough to block out the enjoyment of life and everything else we love to do.

No matter how daunting it is, the ride is worth taking. And I'm beginning to see how that pertains to not just then but now as well as I try to balance what I have left to accomplish here at Vanderbilt. God has given me the abilities, it's just a matter of first, realizing that, second, using them to His glory, and finally, trying to learn from failues and build on successes.

And besides that, you've just got to fun. Sure, I put off reading for the weekend until yesterday (fifteen articles mind you) and writing a paper proposal until today (that was due... today), but sometimes I test the waters and put off things to make the good moments last even longer. Good moments like laughing so hard until my sides hurt because of some silly tussle Cliff and I got into for the umpteenth time this week, getting together for hours with the ladies from Sunday School for our women's group and laughing over yummy treats, and spending time making a simple but delicious meal that your husband calls "gourmet."

We are so undeserving of such simple joys, and yet how many there are! Sometimes you have to hunt for them and other times you know them before they happen. My challenge now, is to look for them at work and school as well.

...wish me luck.