A Monkey Off My Back

So yeah, the weather was great and then it stayed pretty great and now it's raining. But I'm not complaining (weird, that rhymed). Cliff and I went home to Cleveland for the weekend which was nice; it was a little break from the madness. And then we came back, and the madness resumed. I never realized one could be so busy. I'm not kidding. I laugh at myself now for all the times I ever said I was busy before this last month, because I really didn't know what I was talking about. Busy is when you wake up on any particular morning and absolutely cannot comprehend how another week just went by - barely remembering what happened the day before. That's never happened to me until now.

And now the monkey's off my back, as I said to Wendy earlier today. Besides two meetings today, not a whole lot was on my to-do list (and what was, can't be done because I left the materials at home). I packed a bag to workout after work, which will be my third time this week (a record for the last couple of months). A pending wedding, better weather, and less work are great motivation to get active. And active, I will get - because I've practically been dying to just do something. Winter adds this sort of baggage feeling to your whole life, not just with work and school but with other things as well, like how you physically and mentally feel.

You see, last year was a great year for me for a lot of reasons and challenging for many others. A lot of the great things came from the challenges, though, and I've learned to really embrace that. For example, my weight. I hope this isn't too candid, and many of you already know, but I've struggled for a long time with my body. Having a love-hate relationship with yourself and food, mirrors and outside forces really is no fun, and for the first time ever - I overcame a lifelong battle. Not only did I get down to my late high school/early college size, but I did it more healthily than I ever have in my whole life. By treating my body right, eating the things I like, and finding a renewed love for things like running and swimming, I cast aside every lie I had ever believed about myself and my abilities.

The thing that developed most out of that, though, was an understanding that something like that is more about a lifestyle than it is anything else. Sure, I still sometimes get frustrated when I slip on a pair of pants that I bought in the fall that were a size I hadn't worn since high school, and just after two cold months in Nashville, are a wee bit snug. But it's nothing that should control how I treat or feel about my body. I don't have to starve or purge myself or spend half my life in the gym. And even more importantly, I don't have to make my life a cycle of ups and downs, like so many times before.

It just takes effort and time, and often, those are both a challenge to find. But all the great things come from challenges, right? Well, that's what I've seen and that's what I'll believe. And maybe being so busy isn't such a bad thing when it comes to stuff like this, because it really makes you think a lot about the things that matter most and what really shouldn't matter at all... and make as much effort as possible to spend your time on the things that do matter.