Diamonds on the Inside

I crave the simplicity of quiet night drives on winding roads. I sat in the back of Aaron's Suburban the other night with my head laying against Cliff's headrest in front of me, watching the concrete slip past my window. With the moon flashing in between dark columns set against an open sky, I counted endless expanses of trees upon trees on top of limestone cliffs, much like the ones we climbed earlier in the day.

My thoughts drifted to Emmy, for some reason I cannot explain. I wondered what that icy night drive was like for her more than a month ago. What was she thinking about, what song did she listen to last, what was the first thing she had in her mind to accomplish the next day, who was the last person she said "I love you" to? The weight of those questions and what they meant for me were overwhelming. I had known a person who loved and cared more than many individuals my age, and in a vein of comparison, much of my own life doesn't measure up.

I continued to watch the night slip by, listening blindly to the songs coming from Aaron's iPod and Cliff's lulling snore after falling asleep with me rubbing his head. I drifted in and out of an awareness of some truth, some lesson to be learned as I thought about Emmy. And then, Ben Harper came on Aaron's iPod and said it best, moving me to a determined and grateful welling of tears.

A candle throws its light into the darkness. In a nasty world, so shines the good deed. Make sure the fortune, that you seek is the fortune you need... She had diamonds on the inside, She wore diamonds on the inside.

A simple moment, a simple song, a simple life, and a simple truth. I could thank Emmy a thousand times over for a number of ways she blessed my life-even now in death; and though it is sad to say, her passing has played a continous challenge to me to truly live and to bask in the quiet, even hidden moments of beauty, of kindness, of passion, and of truth.

The moon shined big over Nashville as we came back into town, lighting the endless lines marking the edges of our path. I smiled as I thought again of Emmy and the road she no longer has to take, the place her journey ended, and the light she continues to shine on lives like mine that are journeying still.