Do you know how hard it is TO KEEP A SECRET?! (It might be why I've posted ONE, yes, count that, ONE, whole post since we found that and even it had it's minor clues woven in.)
I mean, we knew before. We've had our share of secrets to keep over the course of a lifetime. But March 18 to yesterday, April 18, felt quite like the LONGEST MONTH OF OUR LIVES. A joyous, challenging, awe-inspiring, and totally confusing month which added that time seems to go much slower these days made for a telling journey already.
A journey that started with two pink lines (after a week spent CONVINCED, both emotionally and physically that it hadn't happened this time) and will never end. And dear family and friends have been so kind as to remind us of the fact.
So far, it's been nothing like I thought it'd be. From the lessons learned in two rounds of minor disappointment (one of those turning out to be totally unnecessary) to the helplessness with which I feel in my ability to control any bit of this except for taking care of myself... it is a day-by-day journey towards trusting. And I'll be honest, I'm not sure how it is that people can do this without anchoring themselves in the truths, promises, and lessons to be found in scripture. And this is just the beginning... a beginning spent providing safety and nourishment for a life that will one day make itself known to the whole world. Then it will be everything else.
But I'm convinced already that God is in every bit of this adventure, and ask daily for His continued guidance. Too, I couldn't be more blessed that the father of our little turkey is the most loving, most patient, most perfectly made-for-me man in existence. He has been so present and attentive from day one (which was really our day one, but in the grand scheme of things day twenty-nine), and I can't help but know he's going to be an amazing father.
I'll try not to make the blog a preggo-only themed diatribe, but I can't say it won't be a topic of conversation. Because frankly, I've already got the mom-brain. Good thing, though, is now that the cat's out of the bag, I feel like I can actually say what's on my mind without cloaking it in words that SOME PEOPLE were clever enough to deduce even when I didn't mean for them to!
So, here's to a new adventure!
3 comments:
So happy for you! You are incredibly blessed. Believe me, after the "minor disappointments" and MAJOR pains of the past 5 years, the day I see that heartbeat will be without a doubt the happiest day of my life. I'm praying so many blessings on you guys and your little one! Here's hoping I'm not far behind! :-)
I'm so happy for you and Cliff and your little one. He or she will be so blessed to have parents who know what real love is and can share it with her or him. Our journey has been such a faith builder. I never would have understood how awesome God is without our Hannah. I still think back to those precious days being pregnant and can honestly say they were wonderful. I"ll look forward to reading about your journey and will be praying for you all.
I just came across your blog today. congrats on your new baby :) May God continue to bless your new journey together. xo.
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