As much as a husband and wife can fulfill each other, it is a necessity to draw from others. Women need women, and men need men.And it's strange how we crave it. Distinctly and separately.
Cliff is happy to sit with a friend in front of the television playing old school Nintendo, drinking a beer, and maybe having an occasionally riveting, thoughtful conversation about, well, the things that pique the minds of men.
Me? I want things like my lunch this afternoon with three women whose being makes me believe in the goodness of this world, and the rightness that can be in friendships, no matter where you live - how often you see each other - or what kinds of experiences you've had together. I wish that happened more often.
I am so tired of surface.
So tired of pretention.
So tired of people afraid or unsure of how to share the mess - and thus, the messages.
And yet, I fail to admit to anyone (except for God and Cliff, really) how lonely I feel in relationship to the kinds of people I want to truly be friends with - share life with - learn from - and care for. I don't tell people what they mean to me, and yet daily I question my worth in the eyes and opinions and lives of even my closest friends. But I don't tell them that, because who wants to be needy? And because how many of my own friends do I make feel the same way?
That, right there, seems to be yet another distinction between men and their friendships. I can't tell you the last time Cliff ruminated over some flaw or perceived failure in this friendships - they just are what they are. He doesn't analyze them or calculate ways in which he can make them what he wants to be - he just makes them so.
And I don't know how to do that.
Cliff is happy to sit with a friend in front of the television playing old school Nintendo, drinking a beer, and maybe having an occasionally riveting, thoughtful conversation about, well, the things that pique the minds of men.
Me? I want things like my lunch this afternoon with three women whose being makes me believe in the goodness of this world, and the rightness that can be in friendships, no matter where you live - how often you see each other - or what kinds of experiences you've had together. I wish that happened more often.
I am so tired of surface.
So tired of pretention.
So tired of people afraid or unsure of how to share the mess - and thus, the messages.
And yet, I fail to admit to anyone (except for God and Cliff, really) how lonely I feel in relationship to the kinds of people I want to truly be friends with - share life with - learn from - and care for. I don't tell people what they mean to me, and yet daily I question my worth in the eyes and opinions and lives of even my closest friends. But I don't tell them that, because who wants to be needy? And because how many of my own friends do I make feel the same way?
That, right there, seems to be yet another distinction between men and their friendships. I can't tell you the last time Cliff ruminated over some flaw or perceived failure in this friendships - they just are what they are. He doesn't analyze them or calculate ways in which he can make them what he wants to be - he just makes them so.
And I don't know how to do that.
2 comments:
Amen! love it Kristine, but of course I'm a woman so I would agree wouldn't I?
Ugh.... I so feel what you're saying right now. I love you!
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