I love that Dave, in the Financial Peace University curriculum, calls buying a home a forced savings plan. Because really, in so many ways it is true. But even more than a forced savings plan, its like this giant magnifying glass that really calls into question, at least for us, the heart behind the money. The reason we spend and on what and for whom.
I mean sure, we've been pretty diligent to do the right things. We made sure we continued to give. We got on a budget. We started an emergency fund. We cut up our credit cards. We paid off my grad school loans. We finished our emergency fund. We opened up HSAs and IRAs and 401Ks. We started on a steady track of significant savings for our first home.
But as much as in life, with money, your actions can be right while your heart and mind are all over the map. You can feel like because you're doing the right things in every other area, you can kind of fudge around in the places no one really keeps track of. That it's okay to sort of "live it up" because we deserve it for working so hard.
I hate that spending money a little recklessly is a reward for living by the book most of the time. And I'll admit, I don't want to live in either world entirely. I don't want to be so bound up in formulas and systems that I lose sight of the fact that ultimately, none of this matters, we're only doing what we can with what we have and one day all of it will be gone. On the other hand, I don't want the other type of bondage that comes with not taking responsibility and living far beyond your means.
So where does that leave us?
Well, I'm trying to figure it out.
I'm trying to figure out how to change a pattern that has sort of sneaked into my life and spoken untruths to me. Has told me that "purchasing things is more valuable than making them", "getting something quickly is more rewarding than making it", and "so what if you spend all your blow money on yourself, it's yours isn't it?"
Well yes, but how can even the money that is dispensable become something that matters - something that can always be used for something more important than funding my self-satisfaction.
One small, and maybe silly way has been making my most favorite coffee drinks at home. Sure, I've done it plenty of times since we were fortunate enough to receive a double espresso/coffee maker as a shower gift. But almost sort of as a novelty, like "oh, isn't this fun, I can make a latte if I really want to!" meanwhile preferring the convenience of a quick pull-in at Starbucks or a run-over to Bongo on my way into work for my coveted once-a-week espresso kick (the rest of the week it's office coffee).
And I mean, what's so wrong with that? I'm only making (usually) one stop at Starbucks or Bongo in one week spending $4 on a really great Grande Nonfat Iced Caramel Macchiato or a Tall Nonfat Vanilla Latte when there are people who spend the majority of their weekly income on it. Aren't I so good?
But even that has been called into question. Because the issue is at the heart of my deeming my behavior good and others' bad, meanwhile denying myself the opportunity to do what I love to do which is to create. To spend all of the five (or 8, if I'm steaming milk) minutes it takes to grind the coffee beans, brew the espresso, and make the final product, meanwhile freeing up money to have a meal with friends or purchase a card for my boss or leave a better tip for someone not expecting it.
I'm not making a values judgment on anyone but myself here, so please hear me clearly.
I want our money to go further than the boundaries of our own pleasure and comfort and this whole house process has been the catalyst for this feeling.
And it seems, these days, my iced mochas at home are a start.
I mean sure, we've been pretty diligent to do the right things. We made sure we continued to give. We got on a budget. We started an emergency fund. We cut up our credit cards. We paid off my grad school loans. We finished our emergency fund. We opened up HSAs and IRAs and 401Ks. We started on a steady track of significant savings for our first home.
But as much as in life, with money, your actions can be right while your heart and mind are all over the map. You can feel like because you're doing the right things in every other area, you can kind of fudge around in the places no one really keeps track of. That it's okay to sort of "live it up" because we deserve it for working so hard.
I hate that spending money a little recklessly is a reward for living by the book most of the time. And I'll admit, I don't want to live in either world entirely. I don't want to be so bound up in formulas and systems that I lose sight of the fact that ultimately, none of this matters, we're only doing what we can with what we have and one day all of it will be gone. On the other hand, I don't want the other type of bondage that comes with not taking responsibility and living far beyond your means.
So where does that leave us?
Well, I'm trying to figure it out.
I'm trying to figure out how to change a pattern that has sort of sneaked into my life and spoken untruths to me. Has told me that "purchasing things is more valuable than making them", "getting something quickly is more rewarding than making it", and "so what if you spend all your blow money on yourself, it's yours isn't it?"
Well yes, but how can even the money that is dispensable become something that matters - something that can always be used for something more important than funding my self-satisfaction.
One small, and maybe silly way has been making my most favorite coffee drinks at home. Sure, I've done it plenty of times since we were fortunate enough to receive a double espresso/coffee maker as a shower gift. But almost sort of as a novelty, like "oh, isn't this fun, I can make a latte if I really want to!" meanwhile preferring the convenience of a quick pull-in at Starbucks or a run-over to Bongo on my way into work for my coveted once-a-week espresso kick (the rest of the week it's office coffee).
And I mean, what's so wrong with that? I'm only making (usually) one stop at Starbucks or Bongo in one week spending $4 on a really great Grande Nonfat Iced Caramel Macchiato or a Tall Nonfat Vanilla Latte when there are people who spend the majority of their weekly income on it. Aren't I so good?
But even that has been called into question. Because the issue is at the heart of my deeming my behavior good and others' bad, meanwhile denying myself the opportunity to do what I love to do which is to create. To spend all of the five (or 8, if I'm steaming milk) minutes it takes to grind the coffee beans, brew the espresso, and make the final product, meanwhile freeing up money to have a meal with friends or purchase a card for my boss or leave a better tip for someone not expecting it.
I'm not making a values judgment on anyone but myself here, so please hear me clearly.
I want our money to go further than the boundaries of our own pleasure and comfort and this whole house process has been the catalyst for this feeling.
And it seems, these days, my iced mochas at home are a start.
4 comments:
I REALLY must have one of those. I think it looks even more delicious than the $4.00 ones.
I was on the fence about canceling my netflix. i've been operating on a budget for almost a month now (baby steps) and trying to cut where I can. you just pushed me over the edge. It's the little things. I can now add $8.99/month to something else.
I mean, it's not like I don't already have cable.
mmm, this looks fantastic!
Great post.
I spend and splurge on all sorts of small ridiculous things because I feel like I'm "doing the right thing" in the areas that have finally got under the reigns of discipline. But all those small things add up, and I've become pennywise but pound foolish yet again.
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