Steeped in Beauty

Poor Cliff's parents. Since we came in on Wednesday, we've only spent one night at their house. And poor us for making so many last minute decisions about where we're going to stay for the night. I'm getting kind of tired of wearing the same clothes in the morning as I wore the day before... and of having to borrow toothbrushes (thank goodness I'm not sick anymore). But I'll tell you what I'm not tired of: just being out here.

We did manage to slip away from the farm into town to shower with our own toiletries, change clothes, and brush our teeth at Cliff's parents' house. But only to come back out here, this time to the "house on the hill" (otherwise known as the beautiful, ginormous house that Brad and Wendy have built for his mom). Brad grilled up some of his famous burgers and I, with a full tummy, retired to "the study" to read (rather, skim through) some of the really cool books in Bobbie June's massive collection. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep and the Bentons kindly offered to let us crash in the front bedroom - the one on the corner of the house that overlooks the mountain range around the lake... Chilhowee, Big Frog, Sugarloaf, Chesnut. And that meant we had the whole beautiful house to ourselves! I tried to wake with the sun, but missed the sunrise over the mountains by about thirty minutes. But even then, they were still breathtaking in a beautiful blue haze they get their name from. I sat on the edge of the bed watching the smoke rise up from the mountains and listened to nothing but the quiet snore of my sleeping husband. It was so incredibly peaceful. Peaceful enough to curl up again with a book, reading the morning away.

And then I realized something. That being out here, mixed with my hunger for reading about "mysterious" and "wondrous" places in the world, has given me a severe case of something akin to discontentment - even erring on the side of sadness. Now, before you go getting all worried about me or something, I'm fine. It's just that when you are surrounded by quiet, rest, and beauty here, it's easy to wish that every waking, living, and working moment were just like these. And that's what I'm wishing for. And I know great views, green pastures, and little contact with civilization aren't the only places to find beauty... it's just that it's so much easier to recognize here. Easier even, to breathe.

This is the part where the city-girl in me gets trumped by the country-girl, which is an interchangeable dance. How is it that I can find such solace out here, when at other times I feel so enlivened and recharged by the pulsing beat of walking downtown in a large city like Seattle or Chicago? Gosh, I sound like a crazy person. But I guess that's okay. God made me this way and my husband puts up with me, so what more can I do?

I just want to be steeped in beauty, always.