A Celebration of Being

So many calls, so many emails, so many e-Cards - seriously - the thing I like about getting older is that you actually appreciate and are surprised when people think of you on your birthday as opposed to being a kid and expecting it. I really lost sight of this birthday for a couple of reasons; namely a impending date that seems a little bit more important and the fact that twenty-three just isn't an age of "significance".

I didn't think about that much until the other night with Cliff at my first birthday dinner (he took me to Joe's Crab Shack by the way and I FEASTED on crabs - for serious - it was amazing, especially because I'd been wanting some for awhile) when we started talking about the day. I realized that I haven't had a non-milestone birthday in awhile. Not since I was eight, probably.

Here's an example:
8 - ..... uh.... happy birthday to me?
9 - alllllllmoooost ten.
10 - a decade old! Double digits!
11 - not ten, anymore.
12 - almost thirteen!
13 - teenager!
14 - not just thirteen anymore!
15 - almost sixteen and have a driver's permit!
16 - sixteen and driiiiving!
17 - not just sixteen anymore and almost eighteen - woohoo!
18 - FREEEEEDOM!
19 - last year of teenage-hood
20 - two decades! I made it!
21 - PAAAAARTAAAY!
22 - not just twenty-one anymore
23 - ...... uh .....

You know what I mean?

Anyways, it's been a great birthday and I haven't even gotten my gift(s?) from Cliff yet which he plans on giving to me this weekend. (New iPod maybe? oh please, oh please, oh please!) He insisted that my birthday celebration last five days instead of just the two it started out as. We went to dinner Wednesday night (mmmmm.... craaaabs) and then out to dinner again at The Cheesecake Factory with some of my most treasured friends in Nashville. I don't know if anyone could tell, but I seriously started to tear up when the waiter came with my Key Lime pie birthday cheesecake with a glowing candle and all of my friends singing "happy birthday" to me in a crowded restaurant. It was great.

It's weird to have people celebrate you. I don't know - I mean my bridal shower, my birthday, a few more showers to come. These are times that I find myself inwardly feeling completely awkward and wanting nothing more than to hide and let someone else take the spotlight, but also deeply realizing what a gift it is to have a moment or two of all-eyes-on-you, care of the people who really do love you. In a moment where people seem to just see you, all you can do is look around at those faces and wonder that you are someone worth caring about in their eyes and hope that you do the same to make them feel important, loved, even special. I do hope so.

We always matter to someone, and I am thankful for that, even if it just is to the One who knew me before anyone else and continues to do so despite how well (or not well) I return the gift of attention and celebration. I think, lately, I have been negligent - or at least a little distracted - in my faith walk these days - taking little time to just be in the presence of God and not just to let that affect me and my day - my interactions with people, the ways that I serve, or even just my thoughts - but to truly recognize and laud Him for who He is (not to me, or for me, or anything related to me) - but simply His being.

The Lord is no less with or without my praise and celebration, I know that for sure. But I can't help but believe, like me last night surrounded by people I love, that my simple response and recognition of Him brings delight unimaginable to such a wonderful and worthy God. Again, I do hope so and am thankful for the inspiration of the people in my life pointing me back to what matters most.