Around Here

Sitting on the steps outside my apartment, taking the last few bites of a deliciously fresh strawberry, I am realizing how nice it is to feel content with the singular moments we find ourselves in. Live today.

That's not easy, for sure. I am planning a wedding and am currently in the process of bringing together a lot of different things to create invitations (driving maps, parking maps, written directions, invitation wording, invitation names and addresses) to help my family, who are hours and hundreds of miles away help me move forward with a pretty key component of the process. Don't stress. And no matter how much I would love to do things perfectly and stay on top of every little detail, I have to leave some things to move along without my control. Enjoy the process.

These warm days that are not summer but very much like it are so perfectly exciting. Sure, I hate, sometimes, the feel of my car when I sit in it for the first time after it's been baking in the sun all day. And yeah, it's kind of a bummer that we still have yet to receive our new pool key from the management company. But I haven't yet had time to use the pool and most days, I hardly get into my car because I have been spending my time with two different children on varying days of the week - a darling one year-old named Jake on most Mondays and Wednesdays and this week (at least Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday) a one and a half year-old named Jack and his brand new baby sister (one and a half weeks old!) named Rollen. This is, by far, my busiest week all summer until mid-July and yet, my pace is still leisurely and I am enjoying this much more than I ever expected to - and I expected to enjoy it a lot.

I take walks, push children on swings, teach them new facial expressions and tricks, fix and feed them their breakfasts and lunches, put them down for naps, change their diapers, read them books, entertain and dote on their dogs, pick up after their messes, laugh at their wonder and silly mistakes, and take such pride in their little victories and new discoveries. I am loving my job, even through the hard things like cutting teeth, ear infections, and learning to walk which of course means taking some good spills. Can you tell I want to be a mom?

To a large degree, this is my life right now. I mean, babysitting isn't the whole of it. I had a great weekend with some of my family in North Carolina and probably spent about half my time there on the trampoline that Matthew and Ashlynn got just after Easter, oh, and totally eating up the time I had to spend with Bryan and Julia who grew up like a year in the last four months it has been since I've seen them. They'll be turning two in August and I just can't get over how fast time goes. Matthew is eight, now, Ashlynn, five, and the Rich and Jenn's littlest bring up the rear at almost two. And they are my nieces and nephews, and in about ten weeks I will inherit six more. And then, one day, when my sister and brother are older and married there will hopefully be even more!

Kim and Frank gave me our first wedding gift - an UltraPower KitchenAid Blender which we're really excited about - and in a week, Molly and I will be leaving for my shower in Maryland. I am really excited to see my family and enjoy that weekend but cannot even begin to say how good it will be to have my Mom and sister up for the shower, too. I don't get home much and rarely do I get to (forgive the expression, it's just the only thing I can think of) "kill two birds with one stone," meaning with my parents living four hours away from each other, and it's rare that I am spending time in the company of both, unless of course it's a graduation.

I am just, well, content. I don't know how else to put it. I have the time and peace of mind to take pleasure in little things and in people. I went to the library on Monday and checked out five books, only one of which I had ever heard of. I stopped by the produce stand on the side of the road on my way home yesterday and picked up a tomato, a pint of strawberries, three kiwis, and an avocado (which I promptly turned into homemade guacamole when I got home and ate them with pita chips I made myself!). I took one of my favorite students to the climbing gym on Tuesday, and last night, Cliff and I ate dinner at McDougal's (it had been WAY too long) and walked to Dragon Park to enjoy a beautiful evening.

Ah. Now to find this contentment and joy in other seasons of life... like in school and work. It's hard to imagine truly being able to do that without just finding ways outside of it to feel alive. I have been praying for all of this time I have to be spent wisely, to be foundational in a way, and to really give me fuel for the new life that will begin for me in July and the old life that needs reviving which will return again come August. I want to be a person who is wholly alive and fully free in all circumstances. Even in times not as largely carefree as these seem to be.