The Feeling Of Growing Up

I am sitting in my place of employment, waiting for a pot of coffee to finish and listening to conversation amongst some top executives of the largest, most influential Christian book publisher. Uh, yeah. Ever have one of those moments where you find yourself longing for a sense of daring stupidity to overcome you because your future, or atleast the people that could make it happen, are sitting in the room next to you? I have. An older gentleman, every time he comes in to get his fresh cup o' joe, asks a little bit more about me. So far he's found out I work here (go figure), it's not a family business, I am a student down the street, I go to Belmont, and next time I'm bound to blurt out "Regular or decaf this time, Sir? And by the way, I write, want to publish me?"

Funny.

I sense a lot more freedom to write, these days, now that my Statement of Purpose is finished. Well, as finished as it can be in the "other people" revision stage. I put my story on paper, atleast the part of it after I got to Belmont, spent a little time here, and figured out that what I really love isn't what I really came here to do. And that what you really love and are gifted to do, should be what you put your everything into and what you let God use to change both you and as many people around you as possible.

And that makes me feel grown up.

And so does suddenly becoming aware of "For Rent" signs around town, as I consider and survey my options for living as a Vanderbilt graduate student here in Nashville. So weird. I had a dream about buying furniture last night, and I was strangely euphoric when I awoke this morning. Months ago, I had a dream about living on my own and broke out in a cold sweat.

It's just amazing what God does, you know? With our present, our past, and the future. I am sure of His presence and provision... and not worrying. Strange how that happens, eh?